FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS

Q: What should I do if the group gravitates consistently toward theological debate?

A: Remember our vision is that everyone would be transformed into the image of Christ. Healthy discussion of a text or an idea can help deepen understanding and overcome barriers to embracing Jesus’ way, but remember that information and debate are not the same as personal transformation. Strike a balance between engaging with those who want to dig into theological positions or are wrestling with a theological issue, but realize that this kind of debate has the potential to become a smokescreen that diverts members away from being transparent and pursuing change in their lives.

Q: How might leaders handle “wrong” answers?

A: Acknowledge the answer and then solicit other responses. You might say something like “What do others think?” or “What is another way to look at this?” or “How can we see Jesus in this topic?” You could also ask a guiding question to get the discussion back on track.

Q: How can leaders create the context for transparent and honest discussion in a group?

A: It takes time to develop a culture where honest conversation becomes the norm. Establishing explicit group norms, such as confidentiality, can be useful to create a culture of trust and transparency. Group members need to feel safe and know that what they share in the group will not be shared elsewhere. Model transparency as a leader. Also, note that the type of questions that leaders ask can determine how personal the discussion becomes. See our tips on how to ask great questions to encourage meaningful discussion. Specifically, choose questions that invite members to share their thoughts and reflect on their lives. Remember, Scripture study alone does not necessarily result in a closer walk with God, so try to keep our Mooring vision central by focusing on how we can pursue the Jesus way of life, live it out together, and love God and others.

Q: How should I respond if someone shares something very personal?

A: When someone shares an honest struggle and the response from others is full of advice or criticism, the group member may be reluctant to share the future. Likewise, if someone exhibits emotion while sharing or reveals deeply sensitive information, and others in the group do not respond in compassionate ways, the group member may feel unheard and uncared for. The best responses may be: “We're so sorry that happened to you,” “Thank you so much for trusting us with this,” or “May we pray for you, right now?”

Reminders regarding confidentiality are important as they reassure members that this is a space where they can open up and be vulnerable. Leaders should model good listening and questioning skills as a way to affirm what is being said. It is easy to resort to quoting biblical platitudes or quickly offering solutions, but it is often not helpful in addressing someone’s pain. Look for opportunities to provide support. Privately follow up with that group member later in the week. 

For more insight on creating a safe environment and navigating other common small group pitfalls, check out this article from SmallGroups.com.

Don’t forget that you can always reach out to the Mooring Pastor with your questions!

Some of these solutions aren’t simple, so if you could use some deeper conversation around a specific question, feel free to contact Marilyn at moorings@bluewaterchurch.ca.